Thursday, September 06, 2012

Heart consolation

I visited pa's grave this morning. I just want to visit him before I go back to KK this saturday. Maybe just to console my heart.

I'm not good with memorizing. I read a 12-slides presentation to prepare for a test and the minute I put the notes down, I forgot everything.

But there are certain things that you can't help but remember. Whether you want it or not. Like the times when affection feels so good. Or when hugs within the right warmth. Or when truth pang too loud. It stay, safely in your heart and inflated in your mind to such mythic abilities that you could replay the scene vividly. 


Few days before pa died, I visited his office. Just to kill some time before I went to the mall located quite near. I took the picture of his whiteboard, the one he had for him to list the orders, furnitures' model and such. On the left side, top corner, you can see he stated the day I went to ums. I might not entering harvard or taking medical course. But I know he's proud of me.

I remember...

28th of June 2009

I was folding my clothes on my bed when suddenly I have the urge to talk to my family. I was away from home, living in a hostel, for the first time. Mak is on her way to Tawau from KK after spending 2 days accompanying me in UMS for the orientation week. Afraid I will agitate her, I called pa instead. 

I still remember saying 'sunyilah, pa...' and hoping that he actually get the whole meaning of me calling him. I'm scared, I don't like being away from home, I'm sucks at being independent. All of that feeling was fitted in that one introduction sentence.

I was holding back my tears while I talked. And I know whatever I'm containing tightly in my heart, will burst in no time. I walked fastly out from my room and sit on the stairs outside my hostel. There... I cried like a 7 years old again, talking on the phone to my pa. 

I'm going to start my final year soon.

Wherever you are pa, I'm going to get through my final year strongly. At times maybe I will be sobbing alone in my room, but I'm going to be fine. I know. And I want you to know that too..

Hail to final year students of Education of TESL. Let's do this!


nurdani said...

saya sendiri pun kalau nak mengingat ni memang susah. kena ulang-ulang baca baru ingat

Joanne Juend said...

Good luck! :)

safiah sokher said...

I remembered a statement sound a lil bit like this :

Why girls love their father so much?
Because he's the only guy that never dissapoint her.

I'm a daddy girl too. :) I bet your dad are so proud of you and he wanna see u succeed.Good luck then ^^

May Allah bless your dad.

Gen2Merah said...

good luck

Aki said...

Hey be strong!! Show him up there, U r Daddy's girl.. He will smile for you, and that day, U'll really feel him hugging U..

crystal nick said...

AlFatihah untk ayah kak anne...
atul pun still remember 1st day at UMS meeting akak...
atul cakap akak x macam lg tua dr atul sbb akak guna cadar gambar cartoon... ^^~

Michelle Sung said...

I'm momy's daughter and I rarely talk to my dad but I couldn't imagine life without dad. Sad and sorry to know that your papa is gone. Be strong and I'm sure he'll proud of you being strong. :)

All the best!

Mizz ErMa said...

good job ur best, make ur family proud of to ur arwah pa..=')

Kancil 8349 said...

good luck...

tarikh 27062009..kancil di maktab batu pahat...kalau tidak silap berada dalam minggu orientasi

berada di Kota Marudu sebab ada program MOSTI

Vaizura Azmie said...

Good luck unnie.My prayers will always be with you.
Be strong.
Always. :)


aisya said...

All the best and good luck utk final year kamu ye.. =)