Monday, May 11, 2015

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Assalamualaikum and hi.

Dear readers. Real readers, who came to read with pure intention, not to stalk me, or hope i'm failing, check my grammar, see if im cursing or not. But readers that care about me and love me.

I have been trying my best not to put too many personal discussion here. Blogging shall be informative, postive and encouraging. So im sorry if the writing that you are going to read later will break any bubbles.

It's 10:41 pm and im emotionally drained.  im writing this using my mobile phone. If this got posted, it will be the first spontaneous and mobile blogging I've done.

This blog always keep me sane. And im writing what im about to write to keep me sane as well.

Tonight is, today is 11th of May 2015, my father's birthday. My late father.

I miss him.

I just want him to know im still the strong woman he raised. He always believed that. I want him to know that im doing fine here. Sometimes it's tough but i believed im doing well. I want him to know i practice every patience i could offer, i dont dwell in negativity or play fights.

Dad,

You always mentioned my tiffany doll. The one that i bite too much until one of her legs fell off. You make corny jokes. You know how to make me laugh. You never get my obsession about pop music, too noisy. It's okay, you could enjoy your D'lloyd music.

When i was doing my substitute teacher work, you know i had it tough. It was very intense environment. But you seldom asked how things in school. It's ok. It's not like you didnt care, but you know your daughter well not to ask. Im glad you never asked me. And i know you feel sorry that your 19 years old girl was working instead of studying. I know you were delighted when i got the university offer, you wrote the date on your whiteboard in your office.

Im still a teacher now dad, in fact im teaching in university. hopefully i make you proud. I try to give my best knowledge to my students, brings out the best from them, never discourage or find flaws. I could write thousands of words about them to u. Each of them. They're amazing dad. Believe me.

So im running the family. Im taking care of mum. I make decision, clear decision that mum said im too stubborn. She always said that.

I bought a birthday card for you today. It says "Happy Birthday to the best Daddy". The fact that I could be send to bukit padang because of that.

I should stop. Im too tired.

Im too tired.

Too tired.

Before it gets too personal.

I shouldnt write this in the first place.

Apologize to my readers who found this uncomfortable.

11.26pm, 11th of May 2015.

Happy birthday dad.

I will continue to miss you even if it means my feelings will be broken over and over again.

I miss u. I always will.

Love , anne.

1 comment:

Ssan said...

it's ok to put up such post once in a while, it's your blog! I pray you hv the strength to carry on with life, all the best :) you're a strong person.